The first day of Spring… Or is it?

I’ve had enough! That’s it! No more! I can’t stand it! It’s just too much!


I’ve got 50 gallons of green dye no. 87 and my back sprayer and I’ve learned a lesson from the Chinese (from their Olympic hosting duties). I’m gonna damn well dye all that white snow green because I’m longing to cut a lawn! I’ve infilled all the openings in my snowshoes and I’m going to stomp the snow to smithereens. Part of it, I’m going to drive over and over and over till it melts. ( And I swear that was a polar bear I saw in my garden yesterday.)


I’ve been trying to save my semi-circular cedar hedges this week – all that snow sitting on two inches of ice (from the icestorm two months ago) sitting on another 12 inches of earlier snow (from November) has been crushing and twisting and tearing at the hedges, flattening them to the ground and destroying years and years of growth, of pruning and shaping, and leaving me dreading that which I most want – Spring.


Just trying to get to the hedges means levitating across three feet of snow and bending down to dig the snow off the hedge below me when all of a sudden the snow opens up and I sink to my waist. Now, this new position requires me to reach over my head with the shovel which means that the snow above me falls down on top of me thus burying me deeper. The last time I checked, I was still digging myself out. I really, really do need Spring – NOW!